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Watch the Ball: What Tennis Reminds Me

🌬️ Learning to Breathe“Tati, breathe…”That is what my tennis coach often reminds me. When I concentrate, I hold my breath. Not exactly a winning tactic.When I step onto a tennis court, I carry more than my racket. I carry the mental load of parenting and life. It feels like my brain might explode with ticker tape: to-dos, conversations, worries, all unspooling at once.Then my very calm, very cool Tahitian coach brings me back.“Focus on the ball, Tati,” he says. He calls me au...

From Tall Poppy Syndrome to Rewilding: Lessons from the AIMS Games

I am at the AIMS Games this week as a team manager. The scale is extraordinary: there are more athletes here than at the Paris Olympics, with schools from across New Zealand, as well as the Cook Islands and Fiji. The energy, competition, and spirit are unforgettable.For the young athletes, this is a chance to compete, grow, and be inspired. For me, it is a privilege to witness this and it is also a chance to reflect on the deeper lessons sport teaches us.A Message That Stops Me in My TracksAt th...

What Lies Beneath

Why Procrastination Isn’t LazinessSome days life feels like a holding pattern.I find myself putting off responding to people (even just about catching up for coffee) until I know the full answer. I don’t want to say, “I’m not sure yet”, even when that’s the truth. It feels safer to wait, to polish, to hold back until I can be certain.As a parent, the mental load stacks up quietly in the background. School forms (there are SO many emails and forms!), doctor’s appointments, dentist�...

Boredom, ADHD, and the Goldilocks Pause | Finding the Good Nothing

“Boredom is opportunity,” says Simon Sinek.  “Boredom is kryptonite,” says Dr. Edward Hallowell.  Can they both be right?I saw Simon Sinek’s post with the strapline “Embrace Boredom” and it sent me down a tunnel of thought.The first thing that came to mind was Dr. Hallowell’s words: “Boredom is an ADHDer’s kryptonite. They are stimulation seekers and need to address the mental emergency, the brain pain, that boredom sets off.”That made me wonder whe...

When the Game Changes Mid-Play

Playing a Game Without Your PositionIn my last post I explored the idea that we are measuring success in ways that mean we’ll never feel as though we’re enough.  For many neurocomplex brains, the story runs even deeper.  It’s as though the whole game has changed without you in mind.You start off thinking you know the positions, the strategies, how to train, the expectations, and the rules. You feel confident in your role.  Maybe you’re the striker, reacting quickly, changi...

Femur, Not Pots

“I’m not enough”It’s something I hear often when people start naming the radio chatter that runs through their minds.  I wonder how many of us are walking around tuned into that frequency, and whether our culture has slowly been shaped to keep us there.The Myth of EnoughA few years ago, I listened to a podcast interview with one of my childhood heroes, Jonny Wilkinson.  (Apologies to the Kiwis – I grew up a Newcastle Falcons fan and followed Jonny from his first run-out.) &nb...

A Bit of a Shift

It’s taken some courage to write this.Many people know me as reliable, loyal, thoughtful, risk-aware, and (perhaps) someone with a good dose of black Geordie humour to navigate the hard stuff. Those qualities shaped much of my career in law and financial services, both in the UK and here in New Zealand. They’re a big part of who I am.I’ve always been passionate about people. Professionally, that meant making the retail banking world better, for those working in it and for the customers it ...